A Brief Demonstration (Or, To Die Would Be An Awfully Big Adventure)
by Churro-Dragon
Summary: Shortly after meeting each other, Lua and Ladd both step away from a party to have a private chat. Lua is observant and decisive, and Ladd is more than willing to play along.


Fic I wrote about everyone's favorite disturbing couple in Baccano! Just goes without saying that I do not endorse either Ladd or Lua's views on…basically anything, but especially suicide. They're both a couple of the most fascinating characters in Baccano! and I really wanted to explore their relationship and personalities a bit more, especially for Lua.

 **Warnings:** Mentions of violence, asphyxiation, pantomime of violence, self destructive tendencies, extremely unsympathetic views on suicide, casual sexism (via Ladd), literary references, possible death-related innuendos. Lua's ESP is touched upon briefly.

* * *

"I suppose you've read Peter Pan?" asked Lua, trying to spark the conversation. It was chilly outside, which was inconvenient seeing as she'd only brought a thin shawl with her to the party. Not that she had intended on staying so long.

"Me?" Said Ladd. "'Course I have. A long time ago of course, but still. Who wouldn't want to be a kid forever at that age?"

"I would think it would get somewhat tiresome, don't you think? Just living on and on, in a ghastlyworld like that. I'd say I do agree with him on one point though."

She walked a few steps ahead of him, over to the edge of the boardwalk.

"'To die would be an awfully big adventure.' Those were his words, weren't they? Of course, right before he had the opportunity to find out, he let it slip away from him."

"Hah, that's just how most people are when it comes to death. They don't even think about it. It's the farthest thing from their minds! They could fall off that pretty little Ferris wheel of life in an instant, but they think the ride goes on forever. They think they can be Peter Pan, when really, most are more like Captain Hook. Old and ready to get snapped up at any moment."

"So that's what your line of work is then? To be the ticking crocodile?"

"Damn straight."

"I'm sure you have lots of experience then, especially in your family. " She sat up on the balcony wall, teetering on edge–she could lean a few inches more and she'd go plummeting down off the boardwalk, into the cold lake. She strained that narrow distance, felt the pull of the water below–then leaned forward again, secure in her balance. The water would always be waiting there for her, but Ladd intrigued her more.

"How do you prefer to kill?" she asked casually. "They say you're an assassin, but you're not like the others. I somehow get he feeling that this isn't just a job to you."

"It's not just a job. It's who I am," he said. "Sure, I go on missions, but ultimately I do whatever the hell I want. I kill where it strikes my fancy. It's a pastime, therapy, not just the killing itself, but the fear, the unsettling–seeing everyone around, those big men with their big guns and expensive hats, thinking 'I'm completely safe!' And then I come along, to teach them a little lesson right before I blow all their puny heads off." He mimicked the action of loading and shooting a shotgun, firing madly away at his invisible opponents, and grinning very much like the crocodile they had just been talking about..

"Sounds so exciting," said Lua, still sitting on the edge. "So I take it you much prefer the thrill of the sheer…forcefulness of it all, don't you? Have you ever tried anything more delicate?"

"Hm, what's that?" he paused his pantomime and looked at her strangely. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I want to know," she said in a low tone, almost a whisper. "I want to know–if you killed me, how would you do it?"

Ladd looked dumbfounded, staring at her in silence for a couple of seconds before bursting into laughter. "You? Kill you?" he said. "For chrissakes Dollface, haven't you been listening to anything I've been saying? I only kill arrogant folks that don't even have the fear of death in their mind, who think they're the strongest, most invincible people in the world! Those are the people worth killing. "

"Hm, I should have guessed." she said, absentmindedly swinging her legs and tapping her white shoe heels against the edge of the wall. "But why not kill me?"

Ladd looked at her critically, trying to discern what kind of game she was playing with him. "Well," he said finally. "I mean, you're a woman, for one."

"So?" said Lua.

"Yeah," said Ladd. "But the thing is, they usually don't put up much of a fight. They're too easy to scare, so they're pretty boring. Not that I wouldn't hesitate to kill a woman if she was like the kind of person I've already described–too smug, too confident in the idea that I'll let them live. No siree! I'm not that much of a gentleman." he cackled.

Lua sighed and slipped down from her seat on the edge, feeling the ground securely under her feet. No more danger of falling now. "I suppose I'd better go home now," she said. "My mother shall be wondering what we're up to here, all alone." She started to walk past him.

"Hey, wait!" he ran after her. "Wait–Lua!"

She stopped and turned to face him.

"You're an odd doll," he said. "If you wanna die so badly, what makes you think you can't just do it yourself?"

Lua wrinkled her delicate nose in disgust. "Suicide is the realm of the desperate and craven," she said. "They throw away their own lives because they do not value them. They are always running away, trying to escape from the inescapable. But me? I am not escaping from anything. I love my life," she said. "And knowing that every minute of it brings me closer to my own death is what makes every second of living even more beautiful. My family, they call me numb, that I don't feel anything. But I do. I see everything sense everything, I know so much about what is going on, sometimes even before they know they're thinking it. "

"Wow," said Ladd. "Geez. You've certainly thought this through. Although, still doesn't explain why you can't do it yourself."

"Oh, there are lots of things humans can do on their own," she replied. "Yet for some reason they always seem to desire a partner, do they not?"

She leaned back against the wall, feeling its coolness seep into her back through the thin cloth of her dress.

"Now then, Ladd" she said softly but authoritatively, taking his large hands in hers and pulling him towards her. "Show me how you would do it."

Ladd stood towering over her, uncharacteristically silent, trying to find out what was going on in that head of hers.

"Well," he said finally, trying to muster up the energy from his previous attitude. "I could do…" He let go of her hands, looked her over briefly, as if trying to make a decision, then slowly wrapped his hands around her neck. "I could snap your spine, here. Just like this, with one hand, even."

"How fast would it take?" Lua instinctively took a breath, feeling the pressure of his fingers against her throat.

"Oh, less than a second, If I concentrate. I don't have to do that though," said Ladd. "I can make it slow. Just slowly squeeze the life outta you, bit by bit, like a balloon." at the words bit by bit he allowed his grip to tighten, ever so slightly, and she closed her eyes and smiled, allowing herself the little intakes of air that she still could take.

Ladd immediately let go of her and backed away slightly. "What the hell?"

"Why'd you stop?" said Lua, still feeling the fading pressure on her windpipe. "And you were just getting started…"

Ladd gave her that peculiar look again, a look that combined frustration with a level of fascination.

"This is exactly why I don't kill people like you," he said, turning away and shaking his head. "It's just too fucking easy. Anyone with their nerves in the right place would be pushing to get out of a hold like that the second I started clamping down. But you!" He backs off, pointing at her, as if trying to make it clear to his invisible audience. "The way you just stand there. Like a freaking statue. I could carve you up with a butter knife and you wouldn't even blink."

"You said you kill people who aren't afraid of death, did you not? I'm here. And I'm not afraid."

"True enough, but that's different." he said. "You're just a goddamn anomaly."

"I see," said Lua, studying his face. "If that's the case, I think you'll do just fine."

"Fine? What are you talking about?"

"I've decided," she said. "You'll be the only one who gets to kill me."

"That's some awful big talk, dollface. Not that it's a completely unappealing idea, but what makes you think I'll agree? After all, there are plenty of other people on Earth I can kill. What makes you think you'll get some special treatment, huh?"

"Because no one else can do it like you," she murmured. "Do you really want me to spend the last waking moments of my life in disappointment? Wondering what could have been?" Transparent flattery. It was a skill she's always been good at, but it was also the truth. While she hadn't had the opportunity to observe Ladd in action, she could sense who he was, from his manner, his speech, and the way he had gripped her neck.

"Alright, alright," said Ladd. "I get it. But only me, you got that? I'm the only one who gets to kill you."

"Of course. I'm all yours." The meaning of her statement was closer to you're all mine, but really, when the phrases were considered, what was the difference? She pressed herself closer to him, and Ladd put his arm around her–an affectionate gesture, not a violent one this time.

"Probably won't be for a long time though, you know," said Ladd. "Like I said–I've got higher priorities on my hit list. Too many people in this world who could use a good killing, know what I'm saying?"

"Oh, I understand completely. I can be quite patient." They walked past the dim lights on the boardwalk, making their way back to the party. She wrapped her arm around his, and he pulled her closer to him as they entered the large room full of the idle chatter and murmurs expected of a social event.

"Well, here we are," said Ladd, scanning the scene, as members roamed back and forth. "Looks like all the big names are here. There's my good uncle over there!" He waved to Placido Russo, who gave him a stern look before continuing with his conversation. Somewhere in the corner, a band started to play a jaunty tune. "Wanna dance?" he asked her. "This party might be boring compared to what I'd like, but hey, we might as well make the most of it."

"It's all the same to me," said Lua, but she pressed her hand to his and let him hold her firmly by the waist, the world dissolving into a featureless blur around them as they stepped and spun to the rhythm on the dance floor.


End file.
